I’m passionate about supporting people pleasers, therapists, and those who have experienced religious trauma because I know what it’s like. Growing up, I was taught that family and church came first, and not always in that order. I learned young from the songs in church that if I “obeyed” I would be happy. I grew up in a family environment where boundaries were seen as a threat to the motto “family first” and lived in a closed off culture that believed that saying “no” was personal rejection and obedience was what was really wanted.  

 

It was in college that I first heard the term people pleaser. I honestly thought it was just a title of someone who was a good person. Because doesn’t everyone want to focus on making others happy?  

 

It took a few relationships and friendships that took advantage of my people pleasing to realize that there was the dark side of being “good” for everyone else: bitterness, feeling rejected, and not feeling like I could be myself.  Soon after a family tragedy, I found myself looking in the mirror (I know…cliche!) and asking myself why I wasn’t happy. I remember feeling alone in the journey of figuring this out. 

 

It took me many years and many different phases to learn how to come out of people pleasing and towards balance, being kind to myself and others through boundaries, and learning how to feel safe being myself in relationships with others. I would love to share what I have learned through this process with you, so that you can feel safe enough to discover who you are. And who you are is perfectly human. 

 

"The secret is not to dream," she whispered. "The secret is to wake up. Waking up is harder. I have woken up and I am real. I know where I come from and I know where I'm going. You cannot fool me any more.“ —  Terry Pratchett, book The Wee Free Men

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