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  1. "The Disease to Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome" by Harriet Braiker: This book offers practical advice and exercises for overcoming people-pleasing behaviors and building healthy boundaries.

  2. "Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend: While not specifically focused on people-pleasing, this book offers valuable insights and strategies for setting healthy boundaries in all areas of life.

  3. "The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused and Start Standing Up for Yourself" by Beverly Engel: This book explores the cultural pressures that lead women to prioritize the needs of others over their own and provides tools for breaking free from people-pleasing behaviors.

  4. "How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety" by Ellen Hendriksen: This book focuses on overcoming social anxiety and building self-confidence, which can be valuable for those struggling with people-pleasing behaviors.

  5. "Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself" by Melody Beattie: This classic book on codependency offers insights and strategies for breaking free from unhealthy patterns of behavior, including people-pleasing.

These books can be helpful resources for individuals looking to understand and overcome people-pleasing behaviors.

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New to Therapy?

top 10 things to know about going to therapy:

  1. It's normal to feel nervous or uncertain about starting therapy. It can be a big step, but it's important to remember that seeking help is a sign of strength.

  2. Therapy is a collaborative process between you and your therapist. It's important to be open and honest about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

  3. Therapy is a safe and confidential space. What you discuss in therapy stays between you and your therapist, except in rare circumstances where there are concerns about harm to yourself or others.

  4. Therapy can take time and may not provide immediate relief. It's important to be patient and consistent with attending sessions.

  5. Therapy can be emotionally challenging. You may discuss difficult or painful topics, but your therapist is there to support and guide you through the process.

  6. You can choose the type of therapy that works best for you. There are many different types of therapy, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, psychodynamic therapy, and family therapy.

  7. You and your therapist will set goals for therapy together. These goals can be short-term or long-term, and they will help guide the focus of your sessions.

  8. It's important to find a therapist who is a good fit for you. This may involve trying out a few different therapists to find one that you feel comfortable working with.

  9. It's okay to take a break from therapy if you need to. You can always return to therapy when you feel ready.

  10. Therapy can be a transformative experience that helps you develop new insights and coping strategies for dealing with life's challenges.

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Podcast/Ted talks

Here are some TED talks that address the topic of setting boundaries:

  1. "The Art of Saying No" by William Ury - In this talk, negotiation expert William Ury shares his insights on the importance of setting boundaries and saying no in order to lead a fulfilling life.

  2. "Boundaries: How to Set Them and Why You Should" by Nedra Glover Tawwab - Therapist and boundaries expert Nedra Glover Tawwab discusses the importance of setting boundaries in order to improve relationships and mental health.

  3. "The Power of Vulnerability" by Brené Brown - While not solely focused on setting boundaries, Brené Brown's famous TED talk discusses the importance of being vulnerable and authentic in our relationships, which includes being clear about our boundaries.

  4. "How to Practice Emotional First Aid" by Guy Winch - Psychologist Guy Winch shares practical tips for taking care of our emotional health, including setting boundaries to protect ourselves from negative emotions.

  5. "Why We All Need to Practice Emotional First Aid" by Guy Winch - In another TED talk, Winch expands on the idea of emotional first aid and emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries as a key component of self-care.

I hope you find these talks helpful and informative!

podcasts that explore the topic of religious trauma:

  1. "The Leaving Eden Podcast" - This podcast is hosted by two people who left the Independent Fundamental Baptist church and covers a wide range of topics related to religious trauma.

  2. "Voices of Deconversion" - In this podcast, people share their personal stories of leaving their religion and the impact it had on their lives.

  3. "The Life After" - This podcast features interviews with people who have left their faith communities and explores the challenges and joys of rebuilding a new life outside of religion.

  4. "Recovering from Religion" - This podcast is produced by the organization of the same name and focuses on the process of healing from religious trauma and finding support and community.

  5. "The Liturgists" - While not exclusively focused on religious trauma, this podcast explores a wide range of topics related to spirituality and religion, often with a critical and reflective lens.

  6. "Leaving Christian Fundamentalism" - In this podcast, the host interviews people who have left Christian fundamentalist religions and discusses the experiences that led to their deconversion.

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