Healing Arts Therapy​
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People Pleasers
Tips for People Pleasers
People pleasers often struggle with setting boundaries and prioritizing their own needs, which can lead to burnout and resentment. Here are some skills that may be helpful for people pleasers:
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Assertiveness: Learning to be assertive can help people pleasers communicate their needs and boundaries in a clear and respectful manner.
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Self-awareness: Developing self-awareness can help people pleasers recognize when they are putting others' needs ahead of their own and identify their own feelings and needs.
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Prioritization: Learning to prioritize their own needs and goals can help people pleasers make better decisions and use their time and energy more effectively.
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Conflict resolution: Developing conflict resolution skills can help people pleasers navigate disagreements and difficult conversations in a constructive and respectful way.
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Self-compassion: Practicing self-compassion can help people pleasers be kind and understanding toward themselves, rather than constantly criticizing themselves for not meeting others' expectations.
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Mindfulness: Practicing mindfulness can help people pleasers stay present in the moment and manage stress and anxiety.
Remember, it's important for people pleasers to take care of themselves and set boundaries, even if it feels uncomfortable or unfamiliar at first. Over time, these skills can help people pleasers feel more confident, empowered, and fulfilled in their relationships and daily life.
How to set boundaries with kindness
Setting boundaries is an important skill for healthy relationships, but it can be challenging to do so without feeling guilty or hurting someone's feelings. Here are some tips for setting boundaries kindly:
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Start with "I" statements: Begin by using "I" statements to express how you feel and what you need. For example, "I need some alone time to recharge" or "I feel overwhelmed when you ask me to do too many things at once."
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Be clear and direct: State your boundary clearly and directly, without making apologies or justifications. For example, "I cannot attend the event on Friday" or "I need to end this conversation now."
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Use a respectful tone: Use a respectful and calm tone of voice to convey your message. Avoid getting defensive, angry, or confrontational.
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Offer alternative solutions: If possible, offer alternative solutions that respect your boundaries while still addressing the other person's needs. For example, "I can't come to the party, but maybe we can get together another time" or "I need to take a break from this conversation, but we can continue it later."
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Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself is an important part of setting and maintaining boundaries. Make sure to prioritize your own needs and take breaks when necessary.
Remember, setting boundaries is not about being selfish or rude, but about respecting your own needs and values while maintaining healthy relationships. By setting boundaries kindly and respectfully, you can build stronger, more fulfilling relationships while still taking care of yourself.